Rosier Outlook

Baby learns communication by copying and practising with parents.

Marie — Wed, 02 May 2012 04:05:13 +0000

braininsights – Brain Development and Positive Parenting has a discussion about speaking 2,100 words an hour with toddlers being the the gold standard for healthy communication development. Wow, that seems a lot, doesn’t it. To get that many words in for most families would seem almost impossible. If we see the development of baby communication skills in the bigger picture though when we can still foster effective communication using daily practice and use of other ways. What our babies witness of their parents daily involvement in conversations with others (partner, siblings, friends, shop keepers etc) also contributes massively to the type of communication they develop. Babies are extrememly sensitive to the resonance of what is happening around them. They are innocent bystanders and soak up the vibe of what is around them day in day out. Just notice a baby’s state alter when her mother is arguing with someone. They can’t help but be influenced just by being around conversation and react (emotionally, psychologically and physiologically). If they are constant witness to abusive conversations, would that promote a wanting to speak at all, let alone poorly. If they are surrounded by conversation that results in others and themselves feeling good, would that encourage them to speak up and well? It can be helpful to remember that our babies have unconditional love for their primary care giver so will soak up like massive sponges everything we do, say and are as if it is ‘gospel’ in their beginning. Our conversations (including everything that goes with them like eye contact, touch, mood etc that adds up to the ‘vibe’ of each conversation) is what they will use as the basis of what they will contribute to conversations as they start to venture into them with others. A healthy basis for parents to foster effective communication development in their babies : 1. Awareness of the power of your modelling. 2. Attunement and gentle patient responsiveness to your baby’s needs in conversation. 3. Ensuring your baby has daily opportunity to be involved in communication from birth (starting with cuddles, smiles, speaking lovingly to let a baby ‘feel’ language when they don’t have words yet: to give them a sense that it can be beautiful; and by you responding appropriately to their attempts to ‘speak’ to you to get their needs met (like nappy changed, fed or soothed). Practice makes perfect may not be quite accurate where humans are concerned but it goes a long way to getting us there and forgiving when we err.

When you intend to do the right thing (love and help them) in every conversation then the rest can flow more smoothly.

Character Strengths: power to be reckoned with.

Marie — Tue, 01 May 2012 04:41:23 +0000

Do you know what your character strengths are? If not, I highly recommend you jump onto viacharacter.org and complete the free survey online. Knowing your character strengths is to begin to understand what powers you as a unique person. They are much more at our core and different to thinking preferences in that thinking preferences can adapt more easily to different situations. Character strengths over time tend to stay fairly set through out lives seemingly only shifting when you undergo something major in life (e.g. birth of a baby, death of spouse) or suffer trauma (e.g. fighting in a war, extreme neglect).

Everyone has these 24 character strengths (regardless of race, culture, nationality, gender etc) just in a different order (as determined by some ground breaking research in Positive Psychology). Your unique character strengths are the foundation upon which you live your life. Its a bit like the compass that guides your life and gives rise to the power that drives you. This survey indicates what you value most, somewhat or least.

The top 5 are your signature strengths, the ones that when used everyday in different ways make your heart sing, and enables you to do amazing things. The next lot back up your top ones when needed and those that are lower on your list you still have and are accessible however may be used very little in comparison to 1 to 5. So why is it helpful to know all this? So you can live a life that is true to you for a start. Using particularly your top 5 often will help you to spiral up (things seem to flow better and you get better results).

When with people/clients that share some of your values they seem easier to be around and vice versa. If you feel yourself getting a ‘charge’ (emotional, sensational or thoughtful) when with with some people/clients, you can me alerted to know that it is likely that a
difference in values could be there and yours just might be getting a ‘nudge’. This awareness gives you basically 3 options: 1 . Let the charge go and do nothing different than you normally would, simply let things run their own course. 2. Reframe how you think or feel about it (I am aware that this is happening and I choose to understand we may not be in alignment. It could be my issue of theirs or a bit of both, so I will be content to sit with the awarenss, hold my self right from reacting and respectfully go on for now) 3. If you want and need this person/client business, address what you detect with the person involved with respect and curiosity; either let them know what you think and feel about the situation and/or ask questions about what might be going on for them. If you are feeling an odd vibe, odds on, they are too. It’s then up to you to decide your intent. What you think next will usually happen. When you intend a good outcome for you and other/s involved, think logically, consider feelings, create the most likely best option and take action you’ll enable the process to begin to move towards the outcome you desire.

As wonderful and powerful as our top character strengths are, they are also our
place of greatest vulnerability. The challenge is to come to know the flip side of them. How do you react when someone clearly values different things to you. You can learn to manage your character strengths in a way that is respectful of yourself and others, rather
than be rocked by them or letting them power you in an unhelpful direction. When you recognise that your character strengths have been ‘tapped’ that’s the instance when you are poised to determine a positive or negative outcome. If you have managed to build a bank of heart felt positive experiences in life generally, you’ll find you’ll bounce back more easily and can buffer life’s challenges without the bumps seeming too big.

I hope you enjoy connecting with your character strengths. If you’d like a chat about your survey once you have it, I’d love to hear from you.

Depression and anxiety as key to good health or continued suffering?

Marie — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 05:35:35 +0000

Dirty words or just semantics
Depression and anxiety seem to have become dirty words in our culture: unacceptable, unspeakable and ‘something’ that many would like to keep hidden for fear of what you and others might think. What most don’t realise is that what we think or hear about depression or anxiety is a misguided assumption that if someone says they feel depressed of anxious that they must be mentally ill and need medication, when in fact that may be far from the truth. There is a huge continuum (mild to extreme of both conditions) so rather than jump to conclusions let’s begin to understand the nature of depression and anxiety. They can be keys to health and well-being or our undoing if left misunderstood and left unchecked.

A more helpful way to think of depression and anxiety.
Regardless of who you are: Have you ever felt anxious? Have you ever felt depressed?
If you’re human then I hope you’ve answered yes to both. Depression and anxiety are experienced by all people too. Life is full of ups and downs. There are going to be times when we feel flat or a bit anxious in response to other people or situations. Eg when a partner dies, it is normal to feel depressed. Or when you go for a job, it’s okay to feel anxious. It’s normal. It is nature’s way of trying to help us cope in challenging circumstances.

Depression and anxiety are part of our adaptive response to percieved threat, alerting us that something is not right for us. Depression (de-pressed or flattened feelings) suppress our fight/flight system and ‘hold’ our emotions so we can keep ourselves ’still’ with the intention of keeping us safe til the percieved difficult situation has passed and we can feel balanced again and move on. Anxiety on the other hand, does the opposite. It activates our emotional system. When we percieve we are under threat, we can become flooded with emotions and even forecast something bad might happen, so the intention is to prevent things getting worse and our fight/flight system compells us to take action in attempt to ward off the threat.

These are normal adaptive coping strategies that activate (anxiety) or inhibit (depress) the fight /flight system in the hope we will do something and enough to get us back to a balanced state again. Remember that anxiety and depression, like other emotions, are fleeting. They come and go. The intensity does pass in seconds if you just sit with it. If you have practise strategies that assist you to think and do helpful things you ‘get over it’ sooner. Its how we interpret depression and anxiety and respond that makes the difference to what happens next. A simple way to shift out of mild depression and anxiety is for example: I feel depressed or anxious. Okay, that’s normal to feel this way. Sit with the feeling til it subsides or ask yourself, ‘What could this situation be indicating to me?’ Be curious like a detective.

You can choose to either 1. Let it go. 2. Reframe the situation or 3. Address the person or situation this concerns respectfully.
To shift your focus from depression and anxiety start doing a range of activities that you don’t normally do or have not done for ages and you enjoy doing that is challenging, pleasurable or relaxing such as going for a walk, go to the gym, visit someone that makes you laugh, see a movie with your family, play and laugh with your children, be out in nature, marvel at a thunderstorm or the sun setting, cuddle someone close to you, read a book, cook and enjoy a fresh healthy dinner, sit at the table for dinner the family and chat about good aspects of the day and what you did to manage challenges. Taking control of your thinking, feeling and being is in your hands more than most of us realise. The choice is yours.

When depression or anxiety become a disorder.
For what ever reason/s cause a disorder (excessive) of depression and/or anxiety help is at hand. You may be in a situation where you are experiencing continued violence or psychological abuse through bullying, family conflict, or suffering another health condition or it could be for reasons not apparent to you. If it’s difficult or seemingly impossible to get yourself out of depression or you’re feeling so anxious that your daily functioning is affected DO SEEK HELP from a professional. You do not need to live like that and continue suffering. There are lots people who have been helped out of depression and learn to control anxiety whatever level you’re at. You are most likely no different to the thousands of others who have been there and done that. Only difference is- they’re worked through their depression and anxiety. Yes, it doesn’t disappear by magic. You need to help yourself, let others help you, be educated about the nature of depression and anxiety, develop ways to help themselves and begin living the life you want.

Friends and family usually mean well but may acutally be part of the cycle that keeps you in the disorder. Help yourself by letting a professional help you. When you are suffering, its okay to lean on others to get you through the rough patches providing you make some effort to help yourself too. In time you can come to think better, feel better and be better. The choice is yours.

If you know someone suffering from anxiety of depression visit www.beyondblue.org.au for a checklist of symptoms, ways to overcome depression and anxiety and to speak with a specially trained professional.

The heart as the source for the mind.

Marie — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 04:10:20 +0000

The heart is our strongest source of energy, it informs our brain and transmits to the field beyond us, to others and the environment. Take care what energy your heart is transmitting because even innocent bystanders will pick it up just by being in the vicinity (makes you wonder about the power of parenting or your office space, doesn’t it). Have you ever walked into a room and “felt the vibe”, been in love and felt “like you’ve been struck by lightning” or felt, ”the buzz” of being with someone special. Friends, colleagues, teachers and shop keepers can all benefit by what you transmit every moment of your day. And touch helps to amplify it. Give someone a hug or a hand-shake and feel the difference. Bet they will too. Heart-felt positve emotions settle your brain to be able to think more clearly and easily. When your heart feels ‘heavy’ with negative emotions, creativity and clarity of thinking are compromised. So What are you transmitting from your heart today? This neat video captures so nicely the power or our hearts. Mysteries of the Heart

My valentine’s message for women of the world.

Marie — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 02:00:50 +0000

Women lead the way of love
It is probably no surprise to you that women lead the way of love… always have and always will. We have an innate biological, psychological, physiological etc bias towards it in comparison to men. We can emanate what we are born to do or we can fight against it. The choice is always yours. I see it as a gift that comes with a responsibility to show ourselves, our men, our sons and our daughters the power of love.

We are one, we are many
Although we carry ourselves within individual bodies and minds through a particular time and space and experience different joys and woes during our life’s journey, we are also so much the same, as this video so eloquently shows (link below). We are one, we are many, same and different, connected and separate, all at the same time.

Embracing who we are
When we fully embrace the strengths and beauty we have within (complementary to men); we discover a pure connection that can never be severed. We cannot separate ourselves from that which we are. We then can begin to appreciate that although we are living in separate bodies, we are never alone and we are always loved. It is futile to try to make people love you, you are already loved in abundance, in the beginning through the sisterhood: women of the past, today and even by women of the future.
In womanhood we have a constant source of calmness, compassion and love that we can tap into at anytime, which is elevated even more with every loving act we perform.

Love as the source of the most elevating energy
Our power source (spirit or energy if you prefer to call it that) is accessed via the heart. When the heart fills with love, the mind gains clarity (the delicate dance of humanity we would do well to pay more attention to) and we are led to act in ways that result in outcomes good for me, you, and others. You feel uplifted and at the same time you are radiating your positive energy that by default uplifts others. It’s a bit like when we send an email message through the internet. Our message goes ‘out there’. We don’t have to see it to know it is ‘out there’, yet we can be fairly confident from experience that it will be received without the other person being aware that it is coming their way in virtual time, even across the globe. Bingo! “You have mail”. Love transmits rather like that.

So what does this mean for us women?
Why waste energy fighting it?
Let this Valentine’s Day be the line in the sand for us women of the world to embrace our capacity to becoming fully conscious abundant beacons of LOVE because love is the basis of everything good.
So get out there and start loving on mass!

Relax, take a breath and view
Women through the ages through the eyes of art.

Beyond nature versus nuture.

Marie — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:26:13 +0000

Babies are born with their unique mix of genetics. This mix is still developing after birth. For example, at around 10 months babies have more highly developed brains than at birth. Babies instinctively illicit responses from those around for their basic survival in the first instance and along with this, babies also need assistance from carers for full maturation of their brain to take place. The level of maturation is particularaly dependent on the quality of the relationship formed between the primary care giver, most often the biological mother.
Mothers who become atuned and respond to their babies’ needs (good enough will do) and enjoy love and laughter with them, provide optimal conditions for their baby’s brain to mature healthily via the baby’s devloping sense of feeling safe and secure. During mother baby interactions, babies’ genes are affected by the hormonal stimulation. Experiencing ongoing positive emotions in multi-sensory ways such as touch, sound, hearing and sight, promotes healthy development and enables babies to exprience and learn empathy, awareness and care of others’ feelings as well as their own. Known as co-regulation between mother and baby, this provides an emotionally intelligent basis for future relationships with others right through into adulthood. In some cases where carers showed extreme neglect towards babies, their brains appear shrivelled in scans.
Why is all this so important? Because the baby’s brain is forming foundational neuronal pathways that can set the ‘tone’ for life. Enriching emotional experiences prime the brain with positive toning. If the brain does not get this, synapses of the brain actually drop off.
The saying, “Use if or lose it” is indeed true. Neurons that fire together wire together. What you think you become.
So for any parents reading this, please help us to get this message out to all parents: Your baby’s brain health is heavily influenced by the quality of relationship you form. Supporting, assisting and cherising the role parents play in influencing future generations is a community concern.

BBN Seminar: ‘Stress-less’

Marie — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 05:08:30 +0000

Book tickets for Marie Rosier’s ‘Stress-less. Make Way for Abundance and Success’ Bayside Business Network Seminar.
DATE: 18 June 2012
TIME: 6pm to 7.45pm.

Free to BBN Members. Only $20 non BBN Members (a once in a lifetime offering)

Overview
In this seminar for open minded people, learn a seemingly impossible yet evidence-based technique that addresses the two major causes holding people back from success and abundance: emotional stress and limiting beliefs. This technique usually delivers immediate relief of blockages by tapping into the body’s energy system – calming the fight-flight response, reducing mental anxiety allowing the mind to focus more clearly and thereby enabling possibilities to become probabilities.

VENUE:
Milanos Brightton Beach Hotel
4 The Esplanade
Brighton, Victoria 3186

Book tickets by clicking here!

Ten mindful ways to raise your Christmas Spirit.

Marie — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 10:16:41 +0000

Mindfulness is about embracing and being in the moment: You don’t long for the past or wish things were better. Here’s some mindful ideas to raise your Christmas Spirit. Watch what happens when you:
1. Give thanks to someone special in your life. Eg. “I just want to tell you, I am so grateful to be spending this Christmas with you.” or ”This Christmas is special because you are with me.” or “You light up my Christmas in the way you …” or “Thank you for picking me to be with this Christmas. My life means so much more with you in it.”
2. Give your partner a 3 second Christmas cuddle and delight in the buzz of energy that comes with the loving feeling that melts over you as you hold the embrace still and silent.
3. Phone someone you haven’t spoken to for sometime just to wish them a “Merry Christmas”.
4. Look at your children with fresh eyes. Tell each one what you notice about them that you didn’t yesterday. Eg. “I think you look more grown up today.” “I just realised how bright and beautiful your eyes are.” “I love how excited you get at Christmas time.” “I noticed how well you did that job. Thank you. You are becoming a responsible person.”
5. Take your dog for a walk to a different park or beach as a Christmas gift to it. Copy how happy your pet is to be there; be grateful for each breath of air, run skip or jump like you were a young pup; imagine you have a tail and how quickly it would wag to show you’re happy in the moment.
6. Arm yourself with a positive Christmas greeting before you enter the front door. Close your eyes, take 3 deep, calming breaths and tell yourself you feel alive. Go in and say something like, “I’m so glad to see you. It feels great to be home to celebrate Christmas with you.”
7. Try something different, fun or challenging this Christmas. If you like what others are doing, copy them. Learn from others around you. Teach someone something new. Play a game with the whole family without any TV or computers on.
8. Show appreciation for all things Christmas. Just prior to starting your Christmas meal, ask each family member to use each of the five senses to remark on things unique to this Christmas time. Eg. “I love the smell of the turkey cooking in the oven.” “I see lots of glitter on the decorations.” “I love listening to the Christmas carols.” “The holly feels prickly when I touch it.” This gravy tastes delicious.”
9. Join in the setting of the table with loving care and fun to the sound of Christmas carols. Make homemade decorated placemats. All eat at the one table together, regardless of age. Have everyone share a story: take turns to listen to each other, and ask questions to encourage those quieter to join in.
10. If this was your last Christmas, what would you make sure you do? And go ahead and do it anyway.

Communication a gender bender.

Marie — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 04:42:10 +0000

While much news about human brains being malleable, resilient and capable of learning from cradle to grave has had centre stage of late, gender differences seem to have slipped into the background. While males and females have lots of brain similarities, there are some differences worth considering when it comes to communication especially. Females prefer, on average, messages that convey to them that who they are and what they are doing is valued. Women tend to want others to ’feel’ that way also. Males tend to be more spatially aware and better at motor tasks while women perform better on memory tasks. When differences are explored, understood and appreciated as not being right or wrong, rather viewed as strengths to be utilised for broadening and building on what already is done well, then people and businesses are enabled to flourish.

Taming tantrums

Marie — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 03:34:30 +0000

Research on children’s temper tantrums show a predictive rhythm that parents can come to understand and then know when and how to intervene to manage them more effectivley. Tantrums are an emotionally overcharged response to not getting a desired outcome in which the mind becomes flooded with a combination of anger and sadness. It prevents the mind from being able to process information as it would normally. That’s why trying to calm down a child midstream a trantrum is pretty futile. The child is so consumed with an overbearing sensory experience that letting the tantrum run its course can be more helpful than buying into it with adult logic or saying ”Stop it now!” During a tantrum, anger escalates quickly, exploding like a volcano at its peak and subsiding just as quickly leaving a child feeling sad yet more open to comfort and oportunity for more reasonable communication. A helpful strategy is simply let the steam fizzle out a tantrum, make light heart of the situation and move on. A compassionate rather than critical approach is much more effective in defusing what can be a stressful time for you and your child. When a child does not get what they want by throwing a tantrum they will have to resort to another way.

Later approach your child compassionately leading with love, a cuddle and some soothing words like “I love you.” If old enough explain that even though you love them, you do not like it when they throw a tantrum and it is not a good way to try to get what they want. Using polite words to ask for things is more likely to be heard by you and occasionally you will be surprised by the result. When you are nice to people, they are usually nice back. This post based on What’s Behind A Temper Tantrum? Scientists Deconstruct The Screams.

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